Missing and Restoring Meaning

Fifty years ago I was living in Cambridge, Massachusetts a shotgun apartment just off Mass. Ave. at Central Square: 22 Magazine Street, Apt. 3. Spring 1971 marked the last months of my master arts teaching program Harvard Graduate School Education. still taking few classes English literature and completing round student lively seventh-grade class Martin Luther King Jr. Middle Dorchester, bordering Roxbury's all-Black neighborhood. My four roommates all worked Cambridge or Boston. bedroom fronted Street. could see from window historic red brick Gothic revival First Baptist Church Square, often listened for its chime striking hour. Some events that time are recorded erratic journal, but one event never found way into journal has remained mind: sight women marching down street chilly grey day, determined enthusiastic. The group captured attention. At time, may have read about them paper, purpose their march did not lodge memory. focus on teaching, studies, roommates, ward.Only later realize I'd had great view feminism rise. It's possible witnessed international women's day March 6, 1971, when throngs strode en route to Memorial Drive take over occupy an old Harvard-owned building establish first center United States. A recent film entitled Left Pearl documents march. some deliberately marched beyond turn left I'm trying unearth exactly what cold spring 1971.It seems, as becomes older, wrote T. S. Eliot his Four Quartets, which will draw throughout remarks, It older,That past another pattern, ceases be mere sequence—Or even development: . sudden illumination—We experience missed meaning,And approach meaning restores experienceIn different form any meaningWe can assign happiness.Granted, ellipses there, think intent is intact: [I] meaning, experience.2PAST, EXPERIENCE, MEANING, RESTORING—I'm certain how these fit together, know they significance me. Experience layered. Our comprehension language, example, learn repeat foreign words phrases then identify hear them. Gradually, more come together understand someone saying. More gradually, me, speak, understood. acquaintance with understanding history also been It, too, relates spent Boston area.Formidable Latter-day Saint began researching Mormon present brought forth iconic summer “Pink Dialogue.”3 In 1973, issue's editor, Claudia Bushman, her cohorts held gathering home, featuring Maureen Ursenbach guest speaker. recently joined Leonard Arrington, new Historian, part research writing team known History Division within newly organized Historical Department, replaced Historian's Office.4I heard speak fascinated she so much say Eliza R. Snow, whom knew only writer hymns. After returning Utah fall, stumbled internship under Maureen's direction Arrington's Division. total novice, started cataloguing poetry task plunged me various newspapers, including Woman's Exponent, diaries, journals, letters, autobiographies—the rich trove personal writings archives.I excited excavated women. They were ancestors, felt kinship sisters—single (as was), schoolteachers been), wives, stepmothers mothers soon became). others already discovered: “Their stories help us possibilities our own lives.”5 experiences other lives gave own—meaning until examining gaining respect experiences. nobility, dignity worth each woman's life—no matter difficult simple obscure. valued every woman came know. saw strength engagement conflict disappointment. inspiration, revelation, access powers heaven. discovered importance making one's voice unity collective action.6Wrote Eliot: revived meaningIs life onlyBut many generations—7For women, generations partly Relief Society stories, histories, documents. Seeking became large life's work historian. introduced nineteenth-century through assisting (Beecher by then) study secretary Female Nauvoo society's second general president. twentieth-century preparing oral interviews Belle Smith Spafford immediately following 1974 release ninth president, position nearly thirty years.8Under leadership President Spafford, board published 1966.9 But scholarly appointment Historian precipitated questions, possibilities, dive treasure Archives (now referred Library). Among most significant those volume containing minutes Nauvoo—a record thirty-three meetings between 1842 1844.10 Joseph addressed six meetings, sermons constitute contemporaneous teachings directed specifically group.The precious care Snow eventually way—via succeeding presidents Zina D. H. Young Bathsheba W. Smith—into Office.11 Actually, 1855 herself lent book Office Smith's addresses incorporated being compiled time. editors this Manuscript selected excerpts two Joseph's memorable include compilation redacted them—that is, changed wording ways believed clarified teaching. Revisions diary entries commonplace producing History, B. Roberts Smith.12 Papers website overviews source history.13 Selected minutes, particularly 17 founding meeting remarkable April 28 address (both 1842) appeared Exponent Magazine, well 1942 1966 histories Society. cases, however, quoted taken widely available minute itself.Naturally, Beecher's led original inscribed mostly Eliza's handwriting. Likewise, Linda Newell Valeen Tippetts Avery beginning biography Emma Hale Smith, planned review included Church.14 accessed microfilm, recall, made transcription microfilm. able call upon Division's inimitable volunteer typist Edyth Jenkins Romney, who skillfully transcribed team. And 1970s, transcriptions IBM Selectric typewriter. entirety completed 1979.What clear emerged redactions 1850s Historians approved Brigham Twelve significant. This light moment field emerging scholars reassessing status contributions politics, economics, arts, religion. Since proclaimed constitution law, religious authority women?These solemn weighty questions now churning decades. intense discussion, debate. Lectures, conference presentations, newspaper articles, books aplenty raised intersection feminist consciousness These represent small fragment complex past—a that, we increasingly recognized, long oversimplified. restoring fragments first-generation sisters, searching answers understanding—meanings missing lost.I feel expressed: There fight recover lostAnd lost again again: conditionsThat seem unpropitious. perhaps neither gain nor loss,For us, there trying. rest business.16For decades now, along men engaged “the trying,” effort restore revive missing. share context Department University.Around 1976, examined announced commonly celebrated birthday parties, “I key your behalf” Church), rather you” Snow's minutes).17 To difference wordings seemed should aware mentions priesthood minutes. So approached members Barbara Bradshaw tenth president reacted decided make presentation General Authority advisers. did, report received.Hmm—this thought it would be. themselves. historical information hackles among leaders.18 surging movement rights equality threatening some. While faith always welcomed, precedents not.The Division, Carol Cornwall Madsen, game town. Interest, research, publications regarding mounting.19 Eager honing undergraduate graduate skills write biographical essays explore polygamy, suffrage, social services, arts. enrolled programs. diversity end 1979, year Romney Minute Book, advanced idea needed fuller account history, both globally conscious scholarship. Deseret support Elder G. Homer Durham, executive director invited Janath Russell Cannon co-author history. With family responsibilities expanding, Janath—intelligent, energetic, gracious, formerly counselor Smith—had served husband missionaries go Ghana Nigeria. Now semi-official project. Meanwhile, transfer colleagues Fielding Institute University proceed careful analysis She presented discoveries professional conferences early BYU conferences, though hopes annotating publishing Book realized. However, Romney's transcript received covert circulation 1980 Words Smith: Contemporary Accounts Discourses Prophet Joseph, edited Andrew F. Ehat Lyndon Cook.20The decade 1980s expanding variety venues authority, relationship exercise spiritual gifts, especially gift healing. All generation.21As connection presidency working inside, particular perspective, privileges limitations. little room floor Building where kept files. before remodeled offices leaders three organizations.22At 1984 Reorganized Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints, Community Christ, Wallace “inspired document” authorizing ordination document, looked future temple, accepted RLDS Doctrine Covenants section 156. Association scheduled meet Provo year, committee sometime after announcement panel added provide several perspectives document.” asked participate Paul M. Edwards L. Madelon Brunson, RLDS. MHA usually mid-May, invitation maybe weeks put response perspective. totally inadequate unsure say, given tensions sure Madsen's extraordinary essay temple least drafted, drew minutes.23 miracle morning walked second-floor shared Janath. yet arrived, alone. On table lay stack bound copies years’ worth. curious because before. picked up top—number 46 (1959). As thumbing it, October 1958 talk caught eye: “Relief Society—An Aid Priesthood.” today's standards, official needed. permission wanted say—to true scholarship understood while speaking “within bounds” keep contradicting Authorities taught. Here couple quotations talk. His combined really backbone Dialogue.24I believe Oaks talk, wasn't out there.26 Not remarks lasting anyone undergirded framed perspective I've done subsequent years.Barbara successor, Woodhead Winder, eleventh Society, took than ever imagined. agreed 1921, later-twentieth-century chapters. no deal without tongues, prophesying, Newell's gifts spirit—“A Gift Given, Taken”—had 1981 widespread discussion concern, profound sense loss.27 One went Winder fact examples subjects plural marriage spoke concern expressed male simply answer counseled craft narrative helped everyone practice healing practice. gracious kneel prayer. got splendidly, agree feature such encouraged Winder's support. likewise encouragement Elaine Low Jack, who, counselors Aileen Clyde Chieko Okazaki, eager familiarize forward 1992 sesquicentennial celebration. extensive use Women Covenant: Story toward year.28 That if Beecher become third author 1988 Brooke away Switzerland, he taught business school. Incidentally, Ted serving matron Frankfurt Temple, connected Germany continued pressed Utah.I want emphasize Presidents successors. consider unaware unable trouble sisters. leads concerned pushing forward, forcefully realize.Women Covenant mixed reviews. nice book. reference Reminds homemaking meeting. Only achievements dedicated across accurate representation lives. Others as, scholar noted, “a litany loss.”29This pervasive loss hard counter. Nineteenth- action economically politically. For stored grain, ran hospital newspaper, fifty Church's services. Their vivacity, creativity, intelligence, spirituality, confidence shine pages Magazine. Committed families, maintained public presence. Still, patterns organization outlined tempered, or, like healing, terminated. correlation 1960s 1970s centralized, standardized, simplified diminished local autonomy responsibility visibility same growth. recall talking office BYU. We discussed frame filled considerable disappointments vast majority carried moved forward. must allowed endure might difficult, more, wet wintry trekking devastating death. maintain covenants God another. spawned title: Covenant. “trying” about: lost—both meaning.Writing acknowledged changes recovery effort. Canada further labor seminal Madsen Richard E. Turley larger collection covering years, Jubilee Year 1892. approach, carefully document ideas, policies, practices developed iteration BYU's initial Jennifer Reeder, Cherry Bushman Silver, Sheree Maxwell Bench. Then 2005, disbanded number faculty Salt Lake City continue Papers, project groundwork laid kind department Press set publish essential and, further, strong online presence digital offerings, expanded outreach. Marlin K. Jensen called demonstrated commitment accuracy, transparency, accessibility. administrative department, back burner. When happily blessedly relieved duties later, returned half-finished Then, miracle, blessing historians do receive—an experts. Kate Holbrook Matthew J. Grow co-editors, extraordinarily competent assistants provided additional annotation cross references greatly Specialists JSP records series. Superb tightened unwieldy manuscript. furnished counsel, encouragement, advocacy.All 2016 publication central Years Society: Key Documents Women's History.30 fulfilled hoping hadn't before, accurately around world accessible outside scholars. tome placed context. cause Did meaningful impact? institutional cooperation possible. lectures, books, blogs, podcasts institution effect. husband, longtime teacher development, assures change comes result internal external forces. labored independently restrictions. freedom raise prompted expense. External forces happen.And happened. leaders’ comments power callings ordinances increased years.31 loved comment Primary Joy Jones 2020 conference: “My admission today didn't realize, earlier life, access, covenants, priesthood. Sisters, pray recognize cherish power.”32 am grateful lot progress ten years. acknowledge isn't enough fast some.Let Street 1971. march, grasp meaning. ways, relived unwitting inside window—a obliviousness. Sometimes acknowledgement unawareness others, effort, pain. extent claim unawareness, hope repent be, wrote, “restored refining fire” “renewed, transfigured pattern.”33 refinement higher, nobler pattern Christ. “there trying.” Ultimately, him, promised 2 Nephi 27:35: “They erred spirit shall understanding, murmured doctrine.” Holy brings wholeness, line line, grace grace. John's testimony 93 resonance me.The individually collectively imagining. it: you forIs shell, husk meaningFrom breaks fulfilledIf all. Either purposeOr figuredAnd altered fulfillment.35I've experienced fulfillment occasion.Some Eliot's well-known lines move conclusion: end. What cease explorationAnd exploringWill arrive startedAnd place time.36On Sunday, 28, 2019, sitting sacrament Torrey, Utah, listening penetrating talks Bursting mind memory girl kneeling prayer atop bed, gazing seven dolls attached wall above head. represented Ladies States dressed fashions day. nights, prayed open let enter world. sat Torrey meeting, “sudden illumination” decades, actually entered past. Finding work.God prayers. promise sure. wholeness holiness. Human progress, undeterred, eternal purposes Lord roll on, promises fulfilled.”37